My Name Is Not Mavis

Be the Untidy Wielding

Do not be easy, basic, good-natured, and calm.
The outfits that match, the taste of vanilla.

Avoid being the complacent spring breeze
That stirs the empty swings in the backyard.
Be the tornado that uproots all that is stuck
So you can find your way home again.

Don’t try for smug jars in a row,
The first place ribbon,
A razor straight line, or clean hair.

Be the overflowing suitcases packed in haste.
Be the slip that makes everything fall.
Be the color teal in a wave of pink.
Don’t aim to be the quick answer, a full tank of gas,
Or grape jelly on white bread.

Be the unexpected laughter at a funeral.
Be the quest that strays farthest from the status quo.
Don’t be what is required but not sufficient.
Always be the rocking boat, the simmering rebellion.
Always be the one they will never learn to forget.

Forgive and forget locked in an embrace
That turns into a dance—
Uncertain who is leading whom.

My Tender Rage Is a Goddess

My tender rage is a goddess
Who uses the word fuck
As a noun, verb, adjective.
I bless her daily
With the set of my mouth
Just tight enough to show my lip lines
And make my smile disarmingly uninviting
When met with your unmonitored masculinity.
You don’t even know me,
But my goddess knows you.
My tender rage holds me dearly
In the fold of her slippery black robe.
And she’s coming for you.

The Choice

The price of vulnerability is steep
And my bank account is running to empty.
Grace is reliable but often troublesome.
Wandering a terrible balance of lost and found.
Yet, there is only this choice:
Crouch low in the shadows
And play out my days watchful and wary.
Or take a hard running start
Before leaping off into the abyss.
Reaching for the angels and
Hoping they show up to lend a hand.

Monday Before Work

If I didn’t have to wake up well before the sun
To dress for a job that I’m not sure I want
I would not have been standing at my kitchen window
And happened to look out into the darkened black
To see the merest sliver of a moon coupling with a bright star.
My breath stolen to pay for the awe.